survivor girl ukulele band

bringing restoration and hope to survivors of human trafficking through the healing power of music and love

Archive for the tag “worth strings”

of lice and love

the subject for one’s first attempt at training a survivor girl beautician class on how to remove lice with a lice comb should not be the worst lice case on campus. the photo doesn’t do the case justice.

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this was one for the history books. lice and learn!!

on the other hand. i was given the opportunity to show love and kindness and give gentle touch to a young woman at the shelter home whom everyone laughs at and calls dirty.

but i’m getting ahead of myself.

survivor girl ukulele band project 2015 — kolkata!! was my first experience living in a shelter home for survivors of human trafficking. there are nearly one hundred girls living at the shelter home, and they all have lice. not one to be left out of the action, i went ahead and got lice too!

the morning when i pointed to my head and said, “ookun!” (lice!) — instead of being shocked, the girls were quite pleased that i had joined their ranks, and within moments, latika* and reeti* pounced on my head, looking for lice and nits.

everyt time reeti pulled a nit from my hair, she crushed it between her thumbnails and said, “dead!”

i get a lot of hugs from my students, so there was no point in trying to get rid of the lice while i was here, but i did order a nice lice comb and other lice products to be waiting for me when i got back to the states. and when i got home i went after the lice in earnest and soon they were gone.

why not get some lice combs to bring back to the shelter home?

but the whole experience gave me an idea. why not get some lice combs to bring back to the shelter home? so i contacted a fairy tails hair care company and asked them to donate some lice combs to survivor girl ukulele band project. and they said yes!! and sent me some fabulous combs and product!! thank you, fairy tales hair care!!

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my plan was to train the girls how to use the combs and lice products — and even though it’s not possible to completely eliminate lice from the shelter home, at least the girls could keep the lice counts way down and be much more comfortable.

the ngo that conducts the beautician class invited me to spend an hour or so with those girls and train them on how to use the lice combs. the shelter home staff suggested that my first subject should be kohana*.

i don’t know kohana’s story, but there a number of things that set her apart from the rest of the residents here. she’s older; she’s thirty-one. she’s a bit rough around the edges and sometimes she’s the butt of jokes. she’s also big and strong. in the morning she’s out early, hunting for coconuts that have fallen from the palm trees. she cracks them open and rips the outer husks off with her bare hands.

one of kohana’s duties is to take care of the dogs. she brings them their food, and wherever they make a mess, it’s her job to clean it up. if there is heavy lifting to be done, kohana is often the one to do it. she clomps around in dirty salwar kameez (pants and top), and though kohana does have some friends, certainly no one had been nit-picking her hair.

the task was daunting

when the training began, the beautician class girls all scooted away. some jeered.

i sat in a chair and she sat on the floor in front of me. i gently put my hand on kohana’s head and said, “kaemon acho?” (how are you?”)

“bhalo,” she said. (fine.)

the task was daunting. much of the length of her shoulder-length hair was awash with old nit casings stuck to the hair shaft. even with the fairy tales lice good-bye treatment, it was slow going. as the comb clogged with nits and lice, i wiped it off on a disposable towel on my lap.

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the beautician class girls got bored with the slow progress and went off and painted their toenails.

i felt like quitting

the live lice crawled around on the towel that was piling up with brown mounds of nits. this was more than i had bargained for. i was getting tired, and i knew that with all the lice being flung around and wiped onto the towel, i was going to have lice all over me.

“kamon aacho?” i said from time to time, checking in on kohana.

“bhalo!” she always said.

a few of the girls came back to watch, but they stayed far away.

another section of hair. more lice product. more and more combing. this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. this wasn’t training. it was a marathon. i felt like quitting.

but i kept at it, and slowly slowly kohana’s locks were getting clean all the way to her scalp.

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the class was over, and though there wasn’t time to get all the lice removed from her scalp, kohana’s hair was free from nits and so clean and shiny looking! wow.

i told kohana to take a shower and put on clean clothes.

later that evening, in fresh clean clothes, kohana came up to me and touched my arm and then stepped back. she smiled a thank you.

and later than night when i washed my own hair, i combed out dozens of big red juicy lice. it was worth it, i thought.

“i want to bring love to these girls,” i said to myself. “and today, maybe it was through a lice comb.”

this was more than i had bargained for

the next day while i was teaching ukulele, kohana brought three chunks of fresh coconut to me! but what happened next really caught me off guard.

i was in my room and there came a knock at my door. i opened it and there was kohana — all dressed up in a red and black sari!!! wowowow!!

she asked me to take her picture. her hair was shining and so was her smile as she posed this way and that in front of the camera. “dekhao!” she said. (show me!)

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kohana in her sari. (her face is not shown to protect her privacy.)

she looked at the photos, so pleased with herself and how she looked. this was very likely the first time in years kohana felt feminine and beautiful. and when someone called to her, she ran off lightly, and it was as if her feet didn’t touch the ground.

i went back to my room and sat down and cried for a few minutes. this was more than i had bargained for.

two days later it was time to go through kohana’s hair again. now that her hair was free of nits, it was time to really give her scalp a good going over with the lice comb. this time however i set up a chair on the block just outside the shelter home dormitory.

“let’s have an ‘ookun jao!’ (lice go away!) party,” i said. i brought out my bose bluetooth speaker and played music from my ipod and made it fun. we laughed and grooved to the music and got to work.

and now as the girls looked on from the dormitory, kohana became the subject of envy!!

soon there were many calls from the girls at the dormitory windows. they tugged at their hair and said, “laurie aunty! ookun!! ookun!! ami!! ami!!” (lice!! lice!! me!! me!!)

after kohana, the ookun jao party continued with a mentally handicapped girl, who also had a thousands of lice on her head. usha*, one of my students, came up and laughed at her. but soon usha was assisting me with the various combs, anticipating which comb i would use next and handing it to me and then cleaning the comb that i had just used. after a while i asked usha if she would like to do the combing. she jumped at the chance and was soon combing out lice like a pro!!!

usha was so engrossed in the task she skipped her lunch. another girl joined in to assist, and together we worked on the worst cases until sundown.

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the next evening kohana called to me from the dorm. when i came to the window she loped over to me and showed me her new sparkling earrings and diamond studded bindi!! she looked like an indian princess!!!

and two days later, when i was hugging one of my students, kohana awkwardly leaned in — and got a hug, too. i had never seen her hug anyone before.

the woman whom no one would touch and everyone called dirty is now able to sleep at night without thousands of lice crawling on her scalp and biting her. she feels pretty and feminine. she’s fixing her hair, paying more attention to her clothing, and getting hugs. wow. this is way more than i bargained for.

we’ve had a number of ookun jao parties and more are planned. how can i thank all of you who support me in this project called survivor girl ukulele band?! i get to do this wild job because of you. thank you thank you thank you for joining the band.

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*names changed to protect privacy.

i’m not alone any more. i’m part of a band!

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survivor girl ukulele band — rehearsal time

survivor girl ukulele band project 2016 — back to kolkata!!! is well underway!!

but before i get to 2016, please give a listen to some recordings from sgub 2015! sgub gave eight performances in kolkata!!! this was a huge achievement for everyone! for me, for sanlaap india’s shelter home staff — who partnered so beautifully with sgub every step of the way, for the girls, who practiced, and prepared, and performed in front of enthusiastic audiences, and for the many around the world who support survivor girl ukulele band!!

this first recording is of twenty-two girls on stage at the american center in kolkata. my friend julie schofield, a fulbright-nehru student researcher, invited sgub to perform at her  event, “creating possibilities: empowering through the arts.” the sgub girls delivered a program of eleven songs!! they were the hit of the evening, and yep!! they felt empowered through the arts!!

“what was the best part of the program,” i asked the girls the day after.

“survivor girl ukulele band song!” saheli* said.

“why?”

“because we were all together!!”

so give a listen to twenty-two girls at the american center in kolkata singing the “survivor girl ukulele band” song, written by ed tree.

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survivor girl ukulele band on their way to a gig.

 

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entering the hall for the very first performance of survivor girl ukulele band!!

one of the first songs the girls learn to play on the ukulele is “twinkle twinkle little star.” they already know the words and the melody, so it’s a great way to show them how to find the notes and listen as they play.

the girls play “twinkle twinkle little star” so many times, i thought it would be fun to change it up and bring it into a minor key. sanya* was the first survivor girl to make the song her own. this performance was for indrani sinha, founder of sanlaap, who stopped by in early july 2015 to hear the girls play and to invite me and survivor girl ukulele band project to return to sanlaap in 2016.

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two girls in charge of tuning all the ukes before a performance

one of the girls who was in charge of the equipment and tuning is bhoomika*. she has a great talent for singing, and is a natural on the ukulele. here is her rendition of a famous bollywood song, “jeena, jeena” — which means, “how to live, live.”

this next photo was taken at a performance on 9 june, 2015 at the west bengal state child protection day.

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bhoomika later said, “i played with my heart.”

 

 

 

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this photo doesn’t show that the balcony was packed!

 

survivor girl ukulele band was added at the very end of a three hour program. many in the audience had gone by the time the girls performed. but what this photo doesn’t show is that the balcony was packed. and as the girls took their bows, they got a standing ovation from the entire balcony!!! wow!!

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walking off the stage to a standing ovation — their feet are barely touching the floor!!

by the time i was about ready to leave india and head back to the usa, survivor girl ukulele band had performed four times. the girls were having such a great time with rehearsals, getting all dressed up for the show.

neela* said, “this is not even my country. and yet here i am, performing on a stage!”

i asked rajni* how survivor girl ukulele band had impacted her life.

and this is what she said:

“i’m not alone any more. i’m part of a band.”

thank you thank you thank you everyone who supports sgub. i hope you feel great about what sgub is doing in the lives of these survivor girls. you are an important part of the band!

 

*names are changed

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shortly before i left india for the usa, sanlaap celebrated its 30 year anniversary!!

priyanka handed me her ipad, and i snapped this shot of the staff at sanlaap’s 30th anniversary party.

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a few short weeks after this party, we lost our dear indrani sinha, founder of sanlaap. she died of a heart attack in bangalore.

indrani was a major force in the world-wide fight against human trafficking, and the loving and generous and wise guiding light to all of us at sanlaap.

we miss her every day.

in memoriam. indrani sinha, 15 march 1950 – 22 august 2015.

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girls of sanlaap rock survivor girl ukulele band song!!!

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faces are not shown to for privacy and security

a brief history of survivor girl ukulele band

six years ago, after a few months volunteering as communications coordinator for freedom firm, an anti-trafficking organization based in south india, i came back to the usa to help take care of my mom. she was dying in minnesota. and after she died i was back in pasadena california and pretty bummed out.

one of my friends who reached out to me was sharon hannah. she called me up and dragged me out to listen to live music at a little venue in south pasadena. sharon’s friend brad colerick hosted, and every wednesday there were new people standing up front a microphone with their guitars and singing their hearts out. i hadn’t ever seen anything like it, and it sure lifted my spirits.

the wednesday regular singer-songwriters soon became my friends, and in no time that circle of friends connected to other circles of friends who played guitar and sang, and it wasn’t long before i wanted to learn how to play the guitar, too. so i borrowed my friend amy’s beach guitar, learned a few chords, and was on my way.

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back in india with my guitar

soon i returned to india, guitar in hand, volunteering with another anti-trafficking organization hoping to find a meaningful way to be involved in rescue and restoration. one day i was invited to the field for a training event, and i brought my guitar. after the training, we sang “twinkle twinkle little star” and “happy birthday,” and then the girls zoomed up to the guitar and wanted to know how it worked and could they strum it. it was from that experience i got the idea for survivor girl ukulele band project. but i wouldn’t have had that guitar in india had it not been for my music community back home in pasadena — who are inspirational and foundational to survivor girl ukulele band project. sharon hannah, brad colerick, john o’kennedy, severin browne, tracy newman, alper akture, chauncey bowers, ed tree, and lorin hart, phil parlapiano, and mark pocket goldberg, to name a few. IMG_2582

survivor girl ukulele band song

so when i told my music friends about my idea to learn the ukulele and bring a bunch of ukuleles back to india to teach rescued girls, they all dove in and supported me. ed tree wrote this song for the girls:

survivor girl ukulele band

if you’re down, we’ll lend you a hand if you’re lost, we’ll show you a plan if you’re scared, we will understand, survivor girl ukulele band

no matter who you are, no matter where you’ve been, the door is always open, we will let you in

there’s a brighter day, there’s another choice, there’s a melody, waiting for your voice

(chorus)

see who you can be, see how you can grow, see what life will bring, blessings overflow

there’s a brighter day, there’s another choice, there’s a melody, waiting for your voice

(chorus)

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when i first introduced the song to my students at sanlaap, i sang the hindi version, but these girls didn’t want to learn the hindi version. they wanted to learn it in english! so even though most of them don’t speak or understand much english…

the girls of sanlaap rock the survivor girl ukulele band song!!

at the end of the song you can hear the girls saying “pyaar, pyaar, pyaar!”, which means “love, love love!” as you can tell from the recording, the girls lovelovelove this song!! and here’s the version back home at the 2014 benefit at bethany — with a little help from my friends.

music and love change lives

music and love change lives. and moving from listener to participator impacted my life on many levels, including this wild thing called survivor girl ukulele band project. who’da thunk i’d be teaching ukulele in india when i first went out to listen to some live music?

i wish you could be here and witness the perceptible change in the culture on this campus. the girls are not only excited about ukulele class, they’re happier. they’re kinder. they’re laughing more. and they’re feeling good about themselves and their accomplishments. all of this has a ripple effect, and even girls who are not in the ukulele classes are singing our songs!

looking for a positive change in your life? run out and get yourself a ukulele, find a ukulele jam, and experience the joy of playing ukulele with some new friends! 😉

thank you

thank you thank you thank you for your financial support, words of encouragement, and your friendship in telling a friend about survivor girl ukulele band project.

thank you for joining the band. IMG_3711

sounds of survivor girl ukulele band 2015 — kolkata!

the wait is over! it’s time to hear some of the sounds of survivor girl ukulele band 2015 — kolkata!

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for privacy and security, girls’ faces are not shown.

if you do nothing else today, listen to this girl sing and play a famous bollywood song, called “jeena jeena.” there are some fairly loud noises in the audio, so maybe don’t crank this on your earphones 😉

 

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and here’s a little bit of twinkle twinkle for your day!

 

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and here’s a little mash up i wrote to teach the girls the very common c, a minor, d minor, g7 chord progression. it’s called “ami tamake bhalo bashi / baby.” (ami tamake bhalo bashi means “i love you” in bengali.)

 

i hope from these recordings you can get a little sense of what it means to these girls to learn to play ukulele. it wouldn’t be possible without you. thank you thank you thank you for supporting this project financially, through your love and friendship, and through telling a friend about survivor girl ukulele band.

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why does she love me?

the morning sgub class

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for privacy and safety, the girls’ faces are not shown.

 

in my 11:00 am ukulele class there are ten survivor girls. i don’t know all their individual stories, but it’s not uncommon for these girls to believe are that they are stupid, that they can’t learn, and that they are worthless. those beliefs are reinforced by the fact that they have had very little education and they don’t really know how to learn.

shortly after i arrived at sanlaap, a shelter home in kolkata for rescued girls, i performed an impromptu outdoor concert for about forty girls. they were a generous audience, and my “kuch kuch hota hai / baby” mashup was a hit, so most of the girls came to their first ukulele class with some excitement and enthusiasm.

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not so with latika*. she sat there on the mat as though she were on a train to siberia. disengaged and gloomy, her eyes were downcast. but as the class progressed, all that changed. everyone had a lot of fun; we laughed a lot and sang a lot. all the girls were successful. and latika left with a big smile on her face. “hurrah!!” i thought to myself. “a breakthrough for latika.”

latika won’t play

the next week however, latika missed a class that included a lot of practice on “twinkle twinkle little star.” then the very next day — as all the other girls were sailing smoothly through the song — she wasn’t playing as well as the the other girls. she couldn’t keep up, she missed some notes, she got lost, and she stopped playing.

very discouraged, she put her ukulele on the floor.

“latika,” i said. “ok. you and me.” we played a few lines together, singing out the names of the notes. she made a few more mistakes and put her ukulele back on the floor. she made a hand motion by her head as if to say “everything is gone” and she said something in bengali. her face was like a storm cloud and her voice was like thunder.

kya bol?” (what did she say?)

“she said she can’t do. it’s all gone out. she can’t learn. she’s finished,” said preeti*, the girl who speaks english.

latika picked up her ukulele and hid her face behind the head of the ukulele.

i took her hand and said, “oh, latika, ap hogaya nahin (you are not finished). absolutely not. hogaya nahin.

we went through the song again, taking special care on the parts she was having trouble with. she was getting it. i could see hope and confidence building. another student pulled her aside and helped her, too.

soon latika turned back toward me and touched my arm. she was ready to play. everyone got quiet and we all watched her play. her fingers trembled as she fought every line against making a mistake. could she do it?

yes!! she made it through! everyone cheered! and latika laughed and laughed like she just heard the best joke ever.IMG_0540

and when we moved on to another song and started to learn the g chord, she was among the first to catch it, and with a smile that lit up the room, she began teaching others.

why does she love me?

a few days later one of the older students of the morning class led an evening practice session. i stopped by and looked in the window. “is latika here?” i said. “yes, she’s here,” said preeti.

latika said something in bengali.

“latika says you must really love her,” said preeti.

“i do,” i said. “i love all the girls.”

“she said, ‘why does she love me?'”

i wasn’t ready for that question. there were so many reasons. so many things i could say. i thought of a friend who called me shortly before i left. he asked me how the benefit concerts had gone and what my plans were. i told him how much money had been donated so far and what my budget is. and i told him that this year i really hoped to buy a scooter. and not just any scooter. an orange scooter. the orange scooter of my dreams. before we said good-bye he said, “well, i’ve got some money here, and i want to give you some. you go buy that orange scooter. and bring my love to those girls.”

and i thought of all the love — from my sister and brothers and dad and cousins and nieces and nephews and music family and bethany family and other dear friends in my life — that i carry to these girls here in india.

how could i tell her about all that love that i carry? i didn’t think i could explain all that.

so i said, “tell her i love her because when she smiles, she lights up the room.”

thank you

thank you to indrani, the founder of sanlaap, and the wonderful sanlaap staff for the warm welcome and collaboration on this project!!! here’s a card that one of my students made with toilet paper roses to give to indrani to thank her for allowing sgub project to come to sanlaap.

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thank you, to kala brand music for the beautiful makala dolphin ukuleles — the best beginner ukuleles on the planet!

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and thank you to worth premium ukulele strings — the strings that make these ukuleles sing!!

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this photo from the 2014 bethany benefit concert represents just a small portion of the lovely people who have joined the band. thank you thank you thank you dear friends and family and all who love me and support this project. what a blessing to carry your love with me and give it to these girls. i could not do this project without you.

official group photo -- sgub benefit 2014

 

 

and when i play, my mind is free

survivor girl ukulele band 2015 — kolkata! — is underway, bringing hope and restoration to survivors of human trafficking through the healing power of music and love!!

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on january 22, after more than 40 hours of travel, i arrived at the sanlaap (pronounced shonglaap) shelter home in kolkata, the city formerly known as calcutta. it’s winter here, and the weather has been wonderful, but it’s quickly ramping up to soon be rainy, hot hot hot, and super humid.

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my first student!

the very night i arrived, tanvi* dropped by my room and started playing ukulele. yay!!

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currently i’m teaching two or three classes a day and have sixteen students. i also try to facilitate an evening practice session for my morning class.

and here’s part of the morning class! i wish you could see the struggles and triumphs and challenges and failures and obstacles and victories!! it’s pretty wild. stay tuned for a full post about this class!

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one of the first things i did was buy colorful new floor mats and two lamps to make the teaching area cozy and comfortable. can you see in the photo that one of the lamps is a ukulele?! when i saw that ukulele lamp in the shop, it said, “buy me!” and i said, “ok!!” hahah!!

in early march i will start new beginner classes, and already there are more than ten girls asking to get into the new classes.

twinkle twinkle little star

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one of my students has started a fabulous ukulele notebook, and as you can see from her notes, we’re learning “twinkle twinkle little star.” its a song both my students and i already know, which makes it much easier for them to learn and for me to teach.

the evening class has six students, and they are a dedicated bunch. the other night we’d been playing for over two hours, and i was getting hungry. “class hogaya?” i said (class finished?) “no!!” they said. “one more!!” we’re learning “purano sei diner katha,” a classic bengali love song, and between that and “twinkle twinkle little star” and pachelbel’s “canon in d” in c, they want to keep playing and learning.

and when i play, my mind is free.

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the other night i asked the girls what they thought of playing the ukulele. prem* said, “at first i thought it was hard. but now i think it’s easy. and when i play, my mind is free.”

it’s moments and journeys and outcomes like that that this survivor girl ukulele band project is all about.

thank you

it is such a privilege for me to be here and do this work called survivor girl ukulele band project, where i try to give these girls a glimpse of something else, something new, something good, something light, something joyful for their lives — as we strum on colorful little ukuleles and learn and laugh and play and sing.

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thank you thank you thank you for supporting me and this project through your friendship, your love, your financial gifts, your hugs, and your words of encouragement.

 

* names are changed.

the bieb goes on

13 april 2014 — four months to the day after i first started teaching at odanadi seva trust in mysore — survivor girl ukulele band went public with a mashup of a well known bollywood favorite, “kuch kuch hota hai” and justin bieber’s “baby”!!! it was a bit rough around the edges and only a few girls performed, but it was a lot of fun and a big milestone for survivor girl ukulele band project. hurrah!!!

not to be outdone, the boys of odanadi wanted to learn the song too, so here’s an audio recording of that same “kuch kuch hota hai / baby” mashup. if you have one minute — this is not to be missed!! the bieb goes on!!

if you listen very closely you can even hear pinkie the kitten singing along 🙂

hello kitty: pinkie!

pinkie loves to sing and play!

 

it’s the hot season here now, and schools are taking their summer break. some odanadi residents have gone home for a few weeks, while some of the college girls who have been too busy with their college courses to learn ukulele are now joining my classes. and there are some new little ones who want to play too!!

new student checks out the tuner

new student works on tuning her uke

 

two weeks ago, after the school exams were over, miriam’s* grandmother came to collect her.  she was a dedicated student, thirsty to learn more and play well. here she is, leaving with her very own kala brand music candy apple red makala dolphin ukulele complete with worth premium 100% fluorocarbon ukulele strings. (can’t help pitching my amazing sponsors 🙂 )

going home -- with a ukulele

miriam, going home — with her very own makala dolphin ukulele

she won’t be coming back to odanadi, and i have been thinking about her and missing her, but — good news! miriam called me today: she is doing great and is happy and wants another lesson on 12-bar blues. yay!!!

papu* has gone home for the summer, but his father lives a few miles away from the odanadi girls’ home, so he comes to the girls’ home for ukulele lessons. papu said that his father asked him, “where did you learn to play ukulele?” and he said, “a foreigner came and taught me.” and now he is teaching his father and his uncle how to play, too.

papu

i don’t always know if i am making an impact in the lives of these kids, but i believe that God wants me here and will bless the project in ways i hadn’t even anticipated — and here’s an example 😀

 

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last month i started a gofundme campaign to raise the necessary funds for the last months of my time here in india before i head back to the usa in june. thanks to many generous donors, my financial needs have been met. i am so blessed to have the love and prayers and financial support of so many in this wild project called survivor girl ukulele band. thank you thank you thank you!!

 

*names changed

 

two weddings and a funeral

mysore gold train car 2

at the bangalore railway station

where to begin. i’ll start with some good news.

in december, shortly after i arrived in india, i got a call on my mobile phone from an unknown number. the person on the other end was speaking quite excitedly, but i couldn’t understand what she was saying, so i said in my limited hindi, “kaun?” “who are you?”

“bindu! bindu!” she said.

“bindu?!! is that really you?!” i said. i could hardly believe it.

“ya! bindu!” she said, laughing.

“yay!! i’ll call you back tonight!!” i said.

bindu* was one of my survivor girl ukulele band students from last year in pune — and i hadn’t seen or heard from since she left for home in may 2013, so i was very excited to hear from her. later that night i had a hindi-speaking friend call on my phone to bindu and ask her where she was and how she was doing. bindu said she was in mumbai and that she was married and that i should come and see her! i was so happy!

then in february i got a call from the mother of another of my students, preethi*, who is from pune. when preethi was released from the protective home in pune she was quite sick, and my last text to preethi asking how she was had been unanswered. when i asked how preethi was i couldn’t understand anything her mother said except, “please come my house,” but i knew something was wrong.

a couple of weeks ago, i set out on the 28 hour journey to pune and mumbai to see preethi and bindu, worried that something had happened to preethi.

soon after my arrival in pune, i heard the bad news. preethi was dead. she died in october 2013. she was only 19.

and i thought to myself, how does this happen?! a 19 year-old girl just dying like that?! what did she die from? did she have the correct diagnosis? was she getting the right medicine? so many questions.

a friend agreed to accompany me to preethi’s mother’s home and translate. her mother told me that many times preethi said, “call laurie madam,” and that they tried my number. but by then i was back in the usa and my indian number was switched off.

it’s true that the life-expectancy of a prostitute in india can be very short, but this was a complete fail. i failed preethi. her family failed preethi. her friends failed preethi. her doctors failed preethi. and the government system along with the ngo that kept her locked up without medical attention failed preethi. we all failed preethi.

i can’t believe that she’s gone and i keep thinking of all the things i could have should have would have done differently. now it is all too late. it’s a sad and messy story and i am still trying to process it.

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in sharp contrast to preethi’s story is that of mina*, another survivor girl ukulele band students from last year. last june, soon after she was released from the protective home, she got married, and i was invited to the wedding. here are a few photos from mina’s wedding:

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arrival back home after the temple wedding ceremony

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bashful bride

mina is surrounded by some really good people who love and support her, and is very much enjoying her new role as a housewife.

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from pune i caught a bus to mumbai to meet with bindu. bindu doesn’t speak much english and i don’t speak much hindi, so it took a number of phone calls with a translator-friend to arrange a time and place to meet: platform 10, kalyan junction.

when i disembarked from my train at kalyan junction, i spun around in the surge of hundreds of people. where was bindu?

my phone rang. it was bindu. “bindu, where are you?” i said.

“ya!” she said.

the crowd dissipated. and there on the next platform over, in bare feet and a blazing yellow sari, was bindu.

it was like a scene out of a movie. the long lost friend, now found. we each ran up the stairs and met on the bridge and hugged and laughed.

then she led me barefoot through the maze of the station and the narrow side-streets and out to a busy road where we caught an auto-rickshaw.

i had no idea where we were going, but as we sped down the road i pulled out my iphone for some selfies of the two of us. bindu snuggled up against me, her chin on my shoulder, her cheek pressed against mine. together we smiled into the camera.

“oh, bindu, bindu,” i said.

“yeaah?” she said.

“it’s so good to see you!!”

“ya!!” she said, and we laughed and smiled, pleased at the selfies we were making.

i clicked off my camera. we couldn’t talk to each other much, but it didn’t matter because we were together. despite the heat and humidity we sat close to each other for the next forty minutes as we bumped along toward her home.

bindu brought me to her home, which was little more than a shack. on the floor a plastic political poster with some padding underneath serves as bedroom and sitting room. on the other side of the room, a makeshift shelf holds a few kitchen items.

she introduced me to her her husband, who clearly loves her.

“are you happy?” i asked.

“ya!” she said.

bindu's kitchen

bindu’s kitchen

the whole afternoon i felt like i was in a movie and this was the happy ending. after the horrors of the brothel, bindu has overcome many obstacles. she’s found true love, has her own snug little home, and carries hope and joy into her future. i can’t claim that survivor girl ukulele band played a major role in this happy outcome, but i am thrilled that bindu contacted me, that i was able to see her, and that i am able to share the story of her new life.

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these are just a few of the stories of survivor girl ukulele band project. i’m so grateful for the many family and friends around the world who are a real part of this project through your love and prayers and financial support. thank you.

pune 2014 auto-rickshaw selfie

 

* names changed

 

 

survivor boy??? ukulele band

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did i mention the boys? yes! i’m now teaching ukulele to boys — because boys are survivors of human trafficking, too.

a few weeks ago i started taking the trek out to the odanadi boys home. it’s two hours away. one of those hours is on a bus, and the other is trudging a dusty road in the blazing sun.

it’s quite a breath of fresh air to be out at the boys home. the boys — in contrast to my girl students who fight, yell, and slap a lot — are very kind to each other. they play ball together, and the bigger ones look out for the little ones, and they’re so well-behaved and attentive that even though i arrive at the boys home wilted and windblown, i leave refreshed and inspired.

on the way back to town gajendra* gives me a ride on the back of his ancient bicycle, which is outfitted with a super-comfortable wire book-holder contraption. the bumpy dirt and stone road makes the ride a real treat. and keeping my feet off the ground gives my core a good workout, too. it’s a very glamorous and exotic life that i lead here in india.

binod*, who had to wait for the second batch class, was so excited to learn how to play ukulele he started practicing on the box 🙂

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kayaan* is a natural talent with a great ear. he picks it up so quickly i feel like a teaching genius.

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this is chandresh*. he’s eight years old and he says, “sister!” and when he has my attention he says, “sister. slowly.” and then he shows me what he’s learned.

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even though the boys classes started after the girls, they are quickly catching up. i see joy and a sense of accomplishment on their faces, and i feel so privileged to be here doing this survivor boy??? ukulele band thing.

i couldn’t do this with out the many back home who pray for me, encourage me, and fund me. thank you for being part of the band.

*names are changed

 

p.s. in the hot season, i have since started taking an auto-rickshaw to and from the boys home — which saves not only time, but a lot of wear and tear 🙂

“i want my mother,” she said.

it was early evening at odanadi and i was hanging out with one of my ukulele students,14 year-old miriam*. i’d stayed late to catch a ride home with someone who had a car, and miriam and i were on the outside veranda overlooking the dusty courtyard.

the sun had disappeared, and the hushed gloaming enveloped us.

miriam, who had been bubbly a few minutes earlier, was now quiet and downcast.

“i want my mother,” she said as she gazed over the darkening courtyard. “i want my mother.”

I thought of my own mother.

“ya. i’m sure you do,” i said.

it was that magical time of day, and i flashed back to my own childhood, when the neighborhood kids would squeeze a last few minutes of playtime out of the dusk. and then we’d all scamper back to our homes and inside to our bright and cheerful kitchens and loving mothers who were cooking up something good to eat.

“but i don’t want my father,” she said.

she paused for a moment and looked up at me. “do you know why i don’t want my father?”

“no. i don’t.”

“because he killed my mother.” she looked away. “that’s why i don’t want my father. i want my mother. i want my mother.”

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later that evening i learned that miriam’s father killed her mother in front of her and her small brother.

miriam is one of my most dedicated and enthusiastic students, and she has a smile and light about her that can make your day. but quite often, if something doesn’t go her way in class, for example someone gets a prize that she feels they didn’t deserve, she rails against the unfairness of it all, quietly places her own prize back in front of me, and lays down her ukulele. “i’m not coming to class anymore,” she says and flounces toward the door.

“i will miss yooooou!!” i call out as she exits the room.

she always does come back to class the next time. and always with a huge smile, ready to jump in and learn and play and laugh and have fun.

at the summer break after exams, sometime in early april, her uncles and aunts will come to collect her, and she will not return to odanadi.

i then i really will miss her.

and what will become of miriam? will she continue her studies? will she be happy? will she safe?

the survivor girl ukulele band is a short-term project with long-term objectives. it is my hope and prayer that the time we’ve had together and the work that she has put in to learning the ukulele will have dividends of joy and fun and hope and healing for years and years to come.

i don’t know what her future will bring, but when she says good-bye in april, she will leave with her very own ukulele and she will know how to play it. and she will know that i love her. and the rest is in god’s hands.

the more time i spend with these girls i more i appreciate my family and my friends back home. i’ve been so richly blessed with a loving family and an ever widening community of friends. thank you for the love and support that sent me here to do this thing called survivor girl ukulele band.

*name changed

lost in ukuleleland

IMG_5270week four of the survivor girl ukulele band project just wrapped up — and so far twenty-one girls at the odanadi home have started to play the ukulele!! hurrah!! but the road here is not always smooth. the journey has had its share of bumps and bruises and even a little self-reflection on my part.

after the excitement and novelty of the first few class sessions, attendance of girls from batch one and batch two started to drop off. in fact, one day no one showed up at all. and when i added an evening class and started teaching the younger girls, wow. the abuse in their past shows in their present behavior, and the classes were pretty much chaos. but i had plans! plans that included timeliness and structure and organization! i admit it, there were moments when i felt a little discouraged. “i’m here to help you,” i thought to myself. “and how can i teach you ukulele when you don’t show up or won’t settle down?”

and then it came to me. these girls have a lot going on and have endured more than you and i can even imagine. and if i get wrapped up in my plans and my agenda and my success, i will surely fail. and really, come to think of it, i’m not here to teach them ukulele at all. i’m here to show them love. that’s it.

if i can keep love front and center, then nothing else really matters. the ukulele is merely the vehicle used to deliver that love.

i don’t mean to discount the ukulele, however. music is so powerful and therapeutic, the small ukulele can be a mighty tool or vehicle for restoration and hope. but to borrow from 1 corinthians 13, without love it is like “a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”

and what i’m finding out, too, is that some of the girls who have missed a number of classes are catching up by practicing on their own time and learning from those who attended. i also let the older girls show up at any class, work them in, and let them give a little inspiration to the younger girls.

here’s soma*, who doesn’t attend class very often, because she loves to work. and if there is any kind of construction, cleaning, or serving  project going on, she is sure to be in the thick of it.

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this past week i started my fourth batch — a group of middle school girls aged ten to fourteen.

we start their ukulele classes around 5 pm, after they’ve returned home from school at 4:30 pm and have had a chance to change their clothes and have a snack. and though they’ve been playing only one week, there was some fierce competition at the friday contest. the fourteen-year-old, bahula*, is the powerhouse in the class.

from day one she had an intensity and hunger for learning how to play the ukulele. i asked her why she wanted to learn the ukulele. she said she saw the older girls playing ukulele, and she said to herself, “that is something special. i want to do that.”

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first she watches and listens intently as i show and tell how to fret the next chord, and then she tries it out herself. “sister, sister,” she says, “right?” wanting me to check if her fingers are in the right places.

and then there’s a chorus of “sister! sister!”

“it’s only right if it sounds right,” i say. “let’s hear it.” and soon the echoey room is filled with sound.

after bahula feels comfortable with the new chord, she says, “what next?”

i try to get the other girls’ attention, but they are lost. lost in ukuleleland — that magical place of sound and vibration and strum, strum, stumming and color and strings and notes and imagination.

“ok, quiet, krupya!” i say to no avail. they’re not ready to come back to me. the pull of ukuleleland is too powerful.

this little girl, mahalakshmi*, finds it especially difficult to come back from ukuleleland. she can stop strumming for a few seconds, but moment i start speaking she just has to get one or two more strums in. hahahah!!

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after school is out, the littlest children at the home find their way to ukuleles and get about 15 – 20 minutes adventure in ukuleleland.

the other day this little charmer grabbed a ukulele and said, “one photo, one photo!” and then proceeded to lead me around to take photos of her and the ukulele in various locations.  we went from the hall to the weight room to the stairs. in each place she knew exactly how she wanted the photo set up. here she is on the stairs in her fancy blue outfit.

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and that’s her again in the photo at the top of the page. she and her little friend start their show with their backs turned, and then they swing around and continue the performance.

and here’s me in a photo taken by one of my students.

happy me :)

happy me 🙂

thank you to all of you who have joined the band. i’m so grateful to have you along for the journey.

*names changed

ondhu, eradu, ready, go!!

c, eradu, muru, naalku! a minor, eradu, muru, naalku!! (c, two, three, four! a minor, two, three, four!)

thank you to all of you who have joined in on the survivor girl ukulele band project!!   i am so grateful and encouraged by your support!!! good news! we’re in our second week of ukulele classes at odanadi girls home in mysore, india!!

above is a day one video of my first batch of students. aren’t they wonderful?!!

one of the staff said that a couple of the girls were practicing ukulele in the dorm and the atmosphere was so calm. “the stressness all went outside,” she said. yay!!

here is the main building at odanadi girls home. the offices and classrooms are on the left and the dorms are on the right. odanadi is a 20 minute walk from where i stay.

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week one’s lessons included tuning and the chords of c, a minor, and d minor, as well as the c scale and some tips on strumming. here’s pooja*, getting in tune — with a makala dolphin ukulele outfitted with worth strings from japan!

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on day two, one the girls gave me a small flower for my hair. ;-D

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here’s the odanadi boys home. there are about 20 boys living here. it’s out in the country, so there’s a great view from every window.

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lunch time at odanadi. nutritious and delicious. how to eat, you ask? well, first you portion off a small amount of rice with the fingers of your right hand, and then move it over into the bean area. and then you movie it around a bit so it can soak up some of that yummy sauce. then you take about a tablespoon or less of that mix in your fingers, keeping it toward the tips and never toward the palm. and then use your thumb to push that bit into your mouth. yep. that’s how we do.

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day four and pooja* had yet trim her nails! in fact she had recently painted them. oh, no!! too bad they had to be cut.
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oh, so much better with short fingernails!!!

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two happy girls toting wonderful kala brand music’s makala dolphin ukuleles — the best beginner ukulele on the planet!!

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on day five only one of my first batch girls showed up. but then along came mahi*, who sat in and was soon helping the other student. she had learned a few things from one of the other girls the night before and became very interested in the ukulele. she’s so smart and so motivated,  i swiftly added her to the batch one class as a walk-on. and two days later she won the c-scale contest!!

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and here i am in yet another in my series of great light, soft focus, auto-rickshaw selfies.
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see you again real soon!!

* names are changed

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